Often we step out into new trust with God saying things like...
"I will go where you ask, God. "
"Do what you want."
It was two years ago that I stepped onto an international flight terrified by that very statement.
I go back to that moment a lot. As I look into the eyes of four hurting children... I have to take a big breath and say God am still willing to get wet. Why you have chosen me for this? I don't know... but I am willing...
God was ready for me to take on this challenge that day and showed me who He really made me to be. He showed me early on change and complete change was in order. I remember walking in to apply for a PO BOX and it was my first step in moving on. Ironically she handed me my new address: PO BOX 360- I love God's humor with me. It was His way of saying I have NEW things for you. What has past is past. You said you would follow me with crazy love... so lets begin again.
The crazy part of this journey isn't starting a whole new life. It wasn't moving to a different house and selling everything I had to begin new, that was not a choice. The crazy part wasn't accepting the reality that my future would be new... though all of that felt crazy. The journey I have been challenged with is one that surprises me daily.
The crazy and radical part of our relationship with God is trusting him moment by moment. Accepting his goodness is a part of that.
Goodness you say?
Yes.
His goodness.
After experiencing great loss, and extreme suffering I didn't realize how hard it would be to open up my life to good things.
In Exodus we see Moses talking with God asking him to show him his glory. God's response to Moses in Exodus 33:19 says,
I can just picture Moses that day walking up to that rock and I bet he was trembling... We assume that it was fear of God's mighty power, wrath or maybe we even label God as unpredictable and so we fear that..
But the one thing God wanted Moses to see was His goodness.
Later we see that after Moses was exposed to God's goodness he removed the veil and he was radiant.
I have found that accepting God's goodness in my life has been one of the more challenging and extreme things He has asked me to do. Crazy really.
Often things unfold in life that we can't control. As our world shatters we are often focused on picking up the pieces and the mess that has occurred. So much of the radical and crazy that God wants us to experience is beyond just sacrifice but accepting goodness that He places in our life. It may be small things or unexpected things that remind us that His love for us is immediate in our place of healing. He will go to all extremes to bring healing to us.
He does not delay.
"It is true that some people may find they have to wait in the hall for a considerable time, while others feel certain almost at once which door they must knock at. I do not know why there is this difference, but I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He see that it is GOOD for him to wait." C.S Lewis
His response to our healing may be different. The process of waiting for 3-4 years to bring home two beautiful children from Ethiopia created in me a sense of God's faithfulness in the midst of great uncertainty. The daily trust and faith that God can do what He promises. He had promised that I would be a parent of two children from Africa. And even on the days the Ethiopian government was saying "NO", He was saying "YES".
For what He promises is good.
Then there are times that we are expecting to wait for Him to heal and act, and before we can lift our eyes up to Him, He has already embraced us with His goodness before we even ask or before we even know we need to knock. This is the crazy goodness I have experienced as of late. The reality that He will go to many extremes to show me His unfailing love for me in my life.
Embracing me.
God's whole purpose in creation was to do good. He proclaims over and over again that what He has done is good. The goodness of our God is not only God's main attribute but something we often miss in our fear of His judgment or discipline. Or forget when it's grey winter and life has us left hopeless... His goodness is still there, it's our job to accept it, expect it and receive it.
He even went the extreme of sending His only son for our healing. Why then are we surprised that He would usher more goodness to us in dark times or just daily life?
"I will go where you ask, God. "
"Do what you want."
It was two years ago that I stepped onto an international flight terrified by that very statement.
I have seen new words that are being used to describe a growing and enriched relationship with God. Words like radical, crazy, fearless, extreme, reckless.... God is teaching me these words may have a much more significance to us and our relationship with him than we think.
I remember sitting with tears running down my face as the plane lifted the ground and the fear that my crazy love was about to ruin my life. Most Mom's in the adoption process would not admit to such feelings or fears. But I remember spending the entire 20 hour flight to Africa with white fists unsure of what this new future would bring. Here I was... walking into a foreign place adopting a strange child. One who could not even how to say Hi to me. And here I was bringing him home to be a part of my family. What if it ruined my kids, or what if it was a bad fit...or what if I risk loving him and he rejects me completely?
Often we consider trips to Africa, community outreach, adoption, and the willingness to lay down ourselves for the expense of suffering as the definition of radical and crazy in our relationship with God. I am realizing that these terms could have more meaning to our spiritual growth than just our self sacrifice and crazy adventures.
What if the most crazy and radical thing God is calling you to isn't traveling to Africa to save orphans, volunteering endless hours at a community center or opening your life and family to the adoption of a teenager? All of theses things I have experienced and all have been challenging, and crazy. They all changed me and revealed more of who God is in my life. But what I have been finding is that the greatest journey traveled may not seem very radical.
One summer right after the book, "Crazy Love" was released I was sitting reading by the pool. I made a decision sitting there reading and watching the kids swim that I wanted my relationship to look different with God. I wanted to risk it all to follow him no matter the cost. So in my newly defined excitement and commitment to what I was feeling in that moment I heard a voice say......
NOW!
Jump in Amy.....
I remember sitting there not at all dressed to jump in a pool. I thought to myself that is crazy!
I will get all wet.
of course... willing to accept the challenge of living crazy but not willing to get wet.
Great start Amy.
NOW!
Jump in Amy.....
I remember sitting there not at all dressed to jump in a pool. I thought to myself that is crazy!
I will get all wet.
of course... willing to accept the challenge of living crazy but not willing to get wet.
Great start Amy.
Well, I overcame my need to play it safe and jumped in and felt a little crazy. Now it stands out as a moment of handing over my willingness to follow God where He wants even if it means getting all wet. Little did I realize in that moment that going to Africa or adopting a teenager or even being abandoned with four small kids was not the "crazy" He was referring to.
I go back to that moment a lot. As I look into the eyes of four hurting children... I have to take a big breath and say God am still willing to get wet. Why you have chosen me for this? I don't know... but I am willing...
God was ready for me to take on this challenge that day and showed me who He really made me to be. He showed me early on change and complete change was in order. I remember walking in to apply for a PO BOX and it was my first step in moving on. Ironically she handed me my new address: PO BOX 360- I love God's humor with me. It was His way of saying I have NEW things for you. What has past is past. You said you would follow me with crazy love... so lets begin again.
The crazy part of this journey isn't starting a whole new life. It wasn't moving to a different house and selling everything I had to begin new, that was not a choice. The crazy part wasn't accepting the reality that my future would be new... though all of that felt crazy. The journey I have been challenged with is one that surprises me daily.
The crazy and radical part of our relationship with God is trusting him moment by moment. Accepting his goodness is a part of that.
Goodness you say?
Yes.
His goodness.
After experiencing great loss, and extreme suffering I didn't realize how hard it would be to open up my life to good things.
In Exodus we see Moses talking with God asking him to show him his glory. God's response to Moses in Exodus 33:19 says,
"I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on who I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on who I will have compassion."
I can just picture Moses that day walking up to that rock and I bet he was trembling... We assume that it was fear of God's mighty power, wrath or maybe we even label God as unpredictable and so we fear that..
But the one thing God wanted Moses to see was His goodness.
Later we see that after Moses was exposed to God's goodness he removed the veil and he was radiant.
I have found that accepting God's goodness in my life has been one of the more challenging and extreme things He has asked me to do. Crazy really.
Often things unfold in life that we can't control. As our world shatters we are often focused on picking up the pieces and the mess that has occurred. So much of the radical and crazy that God wants us to experience is beyond just sacrifice but accepting goodness that He places in our life. It may be small things or unexpected things that remind us that His love for us is immediate in our place of healing. He will go to all extremes to bring healing to us.
He does not delay.
"It is true that some people may find they have to wait in the hall for a considerable time, while others feel certain almost at once which door they must knock at. I do not know why there is this difference, but I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He see that it is GOOD for him to wait." C.S Lewis
His response to our healing may be different. The process of waiting for 3-4 years to bring home two beautiful children from Ethiopia created in me a sense of God's faithfulness in the midst of great uncertainty. The daily trust and faith that God can do what He promises. He had promised that I would be a parent of two children from Africa. And even on the days the Ethiopian government was saying "NO", He was saying "YES".
For what He promises is good.
Then there are times that we are expecting to wait for Him to heal and act, and before we can lift our eyes up to Him, He has already embraced us with His goodness before we even ask or before we even know we need to knock. This is the crazy goodness I have experienced as of late. The reality that He will go to many extremes to show me His unfailing love for me in my life.
Embracing me.
God's whole purpose in creation was to do good. He proclaims over and over again that what He has done is good. The goodness of our God is not only God's main attribute but something we often miss in our fear of His judgment or discipline. Or forget when it's grey winter and life has us left hopeless... His goodness is still there, it's our job to accept it, expect it and receive it.
"Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation, or shifting shadow (James 1:17).
"For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly" (Psalm 84:11).
He even went the extreme of sending His only son for our healing. Why then are we surprised that He would usher more goodness to us in dark times or just daily life?
"He sends forth [rains], and they overwhelm the land or transform it." (Job 12:15 AMP).
Often we go through times where we are overwhelmed with rain in our life. Maybe life change, tragedy, suffering illness, loss, or just darkness. But what we forget is rain in the midst of a drought....is transforming. Rain brings new crops and new harvest and goodness from a hopeless state.
We go through the rain and are overwhelmed. But God is faithful. And constant. God is good and He wants us to wake up each day proclaiming in worship of His goodness for us to us. He wants us to know He loves and favors us. We must be willing to accept His Crazy Goodness. When we keep His goodness at hands length we aren't at a place where we can do anything great. We are only minimizing His power in our life.
Accepting God's goodness is accepting all of Him in our life allowing His power to take the darkness, brokenness, disappointments and transform them so that we see Him. The crazy part is that when we allow Him to pour out His goodness on us we do transform.
We become radiant...with His crazy love for us.
We become radiant...with His crazy love for us.
I love a devotional that my Dad sent me this week... it said "There is about to be a flood, but not one with water. You are going to see a flood of My Goodness, a flood of opportunity, a flood of healing, a flood of good breaks to where you are overwhelmed with God's favor. It's beyond your expectations. It puts you into overflow. It said.... Today get ready! Get your expectancy up. Be on the look out for His goodness because a flood of favor is coming your way!"
Why is it so difficult at times to just accept that God is good.
EVERYTHING HE DOES IS GOOD.
It's been a crazy journey accepting the things in my life that don't feel so good and trusting Him that He is.
He is good. Just as Jonah found.... the dark and stinky fish that swallowed him whole..... wasn't for his defeat but for his good.
I am seeing healing and growth take place in my life as I have taken a ride in the belly of the whale. I have seen God rescue me with His goodness. That even in a place where life has been unbearable He is flooding me with His goodness. He is leaving me with His crazy love and allowing my life to be transformed... I go from feeling dull, burdened and weighed down to feeling His love and acceptance and that He sees me as I am.... His radiant daughter.
Cause I am good. You are too.
He says that to us but we have a hard time accepting that.
He says that to us but we have a hard time accepting that.
I sit every morning across the table from Tad. I think about all the fears and risks I thought I was placing to allow Him into my life. Now I see that the biggest challenge was me just accepting God's goodness for more in my life.
God is stable and constant. As people come and go we know His love is unfailing. His promises are true. And He reminds us that even with the risks that things may fall apart... He will in fact show His love and goodness with whatever He brings our way.
Heard this song today "Not for a Moment" by Meredith Andrews and felt again it was God's crazy way of confirming this message to me:
You were reaching through the storm
walking on the water
even when I could not see
in the middle of it all
when I thought You were a thousand miles away
not for a moment did You forsake me
not for a moment did You forsake me
after all You are constant
after all You are only good
after all You are sovereign
not for a moment will You forsake me
not for a moment will You forsake me
You were singing in the dark
whispering Your promise
even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me
and every step every breath you are there
every tear every cry every prayer
in my hurt at my worst
when my world falls down
not for a moment will You forsake me
even in the dark
even when it's hard
you will never leave me
after all
walking on the water
even when I could not see
in the middle of it all
when I thought You were a thousand miles away
not for a moment did You forsake me
not for a moment did You forsake me
after all You are constant
after all You are only good
after all You are sovereign
not for a moment will You forsake me
not for a moment will You forsake me
You were singing in the dark
whispering Your promise
even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me
and every step every breath you are there
every tear every cry every prayer
in my hurt at my worst
when my world falls down
not for a moment will You forsake me
even in the dark
even when it's hard
you will never leave me
after all
not for a moment will You forsake me
Be reminded today to accept the crazy love He has for you.
He is only good.
How crazy would it be if we lived and believed that everyday? When we accept His goodness and see Him, it transforms us.... we leave the mountain radiant with His crazy love for us... for all to see.
He is only good.
How crazy would it be if we lived and believed that everyday? When we accept His goodness and see Him, it transforms us.... we leave the mountain radiant with His crazy love for us... for all to see.
