Holiday or Christmas. The big debate.

As we prepare for this special time of year I can't help but notice the huge debate about the correct terminology that is required now when wishing someone a Happy Holiday. Oh, geesh. I screwed up. I mean Merry Christmas.

Just the other day, I was surprised by something. My daughter has two friends that come over to our house quite regularly. Sometimes I think they are additional daughters here, and I'd be okay with that! They are precious! Awan had one of the girls upstairs and I had put out a fisher price Manger scene for Tad to enjoy because the Christmas story for him is somewhat a new concept for him this being his first Christmas here.  Awan asked her friend who is also 8, hey do you know what this is? She looked at Awan quite clueless. Awan began to share the Christmas story with her, well with her childlike twist! She told her about Jesus and Mary and Joseph being his step parents, ( I liked that part!) Most kids these days can relate to that, and then she shared about the shepherds and the here is the part I love!! Oh yeah, she said I love these guys, here are the three amigos! And continued to tell her story. I grinning from ear to ear with her translation of her story. Loving every minute of it. Her friend sincerely asked why a barn? That seems silly.  Awan surprised even me with her response. She said. Oh, my God isn't one that has to have much, he knows he already has everything. Wow. Such profound truth from someone so little. And from someone who thinks God was visited by the three amigos.

So I have seen so many posts on facebook, and angry ones at that. It is OUR SEASON. Call it CHRISTmas.  This fight or demand we put on ourselves that we think we have to keep this time of year Holy or Pure. Well, she reminded me. It is Holy, It is Pure. It was a Holy holiday when God choose a Manger not a Palace. God's stature tells us that he is and will always be God. We all know that. He has his name written on everything. On the living trees we cut down, that smell like fresh pine. On the fresh white snow falling from the sky, from the sound of a baby crying, from the sound of hearing jingle bells being sung because he has given them the ability to sing. He never asks for the credit or fame. That is not who he is. He represents love. Sacrifice. Hope. Joy. And the gift of grace to a person standing at the counter wishing you a Happy Holidays. We can honor him much more not by demanding a certain phrasing this year, but by remembering who he is. Humble.  The word Holiday means this:

a day fixed by law or custom on which ordinary business is suspended in commemoration of some event or in honor of some person. Is this not true? Is Christmas not a day in which we set it aside to celebrate  or commemorate and honor CHRIST?  

My challenge is, lets refocus ourselves off of how we wish someone happiness, lets just wish them love no matter how they wish to gift it to you this season. I have a beautiful Holiday Tree up, and I know what it stands for. It represents the grace, that came with a baby, who humbled himself to something that would not intimidate us.  We can hold, a baby, love a baby, and are not threatened by a baby. He offered us a Savior we can hold. Not one we have to fear. He was born in a barn. If he was offended by words or actions, I think this would have been first on his list before the way we greet people. Um. people a barn, really?  Not I am not okay with the word Holiday because I deserve Christ in Christmas. Or maybe he would be more offended by the excess of money we waste on the more fortunate vs the needy this time of year instead of how we use our terminology? Lets offer the people who really don't understand this story a feeling of love vs a feeling of humiliation for calling it the wrong thing. We don't have to defend God. He is God. We can  defend his people. They are the ones needing his love.

1 Year Ago & A New Court Date Ahead!

 We received Tad's referral in August of last year, and to be honest his first photo that came up on his referral document was not a sight of the little boy that I wake up to everyday and I know today. In fact the first photo I saw of Tad almost made my heart sink in fear. He looked sad, empty, alone, and lost. He looked unhealthy and in some ways I was unsure he could find restoration back to a happy healthy laughing child! 1 year ago this week we took the scariest trip of our life. We, Jeremy and I, had neither one been out of the country ever! Canada does not count. LOL.  I guess it does but not really. We stepped onto a plane that took us 17 hours across the world not only to experience a culture far from ours but to meet a 4 year old boy that was to about to become our own.

It's funny how the morning of our court one year ago this week most would think it would be flooded with excitement and giddy thoughts! But for me it was terror! I was so afraid to meet this boy! I was afraid he would reject me! And how really are you to communicate with a child who speaks another language than you? I wore a yellow sweater. It buttoned up the front. Tad and I didn't connect the first day.  I felt sort of defeated but knew God had brought him in our life! He was small, fragile. Jeremy would throw him in the air just to put him down, because he was to frail to be playing with like that. He had on size 18mo pants that hit him in the knees.. but fit his waist. I was terrified that day our first day with him. I didn't know how to be his Mom. There are days even now I feel lost with that! But what I love is a few days ago I was doing laundry and Tad came running in with my yellow sweater. He held it up to me and said, " Mom do you know what this is?" I said, "It is my sweater." He said, " It is the day you came to be my Mom, it was the first day I meet you and Dad!." What in my mind had been a day of a horrible connection and terrible fear, to him he remembers one thing. His mom. And she had a yellow sweater.



This week is a family celebration. We met him him for first time and he legally became our Tadios, our son!

But to add to this amazing week of celebration we get to also celebrate a our new court date! We will be leaving in a month, to walk a familiar path, this time to meet our 6 month old daughter Samiah and appear at court for her on December 23rd!

Pray for our boys, they will be here, and we will possibly miss Tad's first Christmas, but we have to do some creative thinking on how to celebrate it before we go.  But Christmas is a time to celebrate life & family. And what better gift to give, than to give a little girl a family! We celebrate family this week! And restoration. As you can see Tad has become a new creation, God has given him new life with us. And his photos speak it all. We hope the same for Samiah!

When not so heavy things become burdens.

Here at our new home fall has been quite the adventure with leaves! At our old home we had no trees! So here it is like a leaf wonderland. Leaves, leaves and more leaves. It's quite beautiful really. But there are literally tons of them!

This week our church started a new series. One on healing. Healing from relationships, addictions, any kind of hurt or pain that life has thrown our way. As I was raking this morning I realized something significant to me. That hurt and pain sometimes doesn't come to us in one major traumatic instance. Sometimes it does. But sometimes it can be us experiencing something that seems weightless or even something we feel isn't worth dealing with. It floats down into our life and we do nothing. We feel like it has no weight or huge significance. But when  it comes time to cleaning it up or making room for real healing we have this major mess to clean up. Then these things that were once weightless, aren't so light anymore.

I heard Tad yelling with his rake in hand. DADDY!!!!! With groans and grunts. I came to see what the problem was. He said with a disgusted look, "This is HARD!" He was moving around piles of these weightless leaves. Then it hit me.  I reached down and took Jeremy a leaf. I handed it to him. And asked, "Is this heavy?" He replied, "NO. Why?" Looking at me like I had lost my mind this morning!  I smiled, and said, "Yes it is."  And grabbed him by his hand and led him to a little boy who was trying to move thousands of them by himself.

I have realized this is my journey. Nothing majorly traumatic has made my heart feel wounded, and broken in one instance, but the realness is that these weightless things that I let enter in and take up space in me I allow them to build up into piles and soon, I too am crying out for my Daddy to come help remove them, it's too heavy. I can't possibly remove it all on my own. Who knew a leaf was so heavy?

In my life I have allowed things that seem weightless or harmless take up space. Today I have seen their true weight and how healing must take place. They must be removed. And to do this now, it will be hard.  Now the challenge begins today to clean it up.... and to stop the ones floating now before they land on my heart in heavy piles. And if I find do find piles, which I know there are, it's really not to late. Because my Daddy has a rake too. And he will rake with me if I ask.

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Matthew 11:30 MSG

 ^28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

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When the wrong things become offensive.

Wednesday evening Jeremy told me he had special plans for us! I was excited, there are few times since the family expanding that we have had a date that involved special plans vs running errands or checking things off the to do list while we were kidless! To my surprise he had gotten us tickets to see David Crowder Band in concert! How fabulous!

While we were there we were introduced to an organization that is connected with the work Bono is doing called "One" Organization.  My heart has been feeling stretched in so many ways with a huge perplexing issue. Since our trip to Ethiopia, and being part of seeing the extreme poverty there but also seeing the effects of that poverty still in the eyes of my little boy every day I have felt anguish over what to do! In the meantime I have been reading, "Kisses from Katie" a story of a twenty something girl that has given up everything for others.  I was intrigued by the ONE organization, they just needed my name and email and zip code to petition for aid for famine and relief for the hungry and hurting in Africa. So today I logged on to facebook and decided to give them a look up! I was sorta floored. Floored shocked, and then after my shock settled I was amazed with myself and the lesson I had learned. I'd like to share it with you!

If you go to the ONE organization facebook page  you will see a video that pops up. Them being at the David Crowder Concert, I assumed to find a emotional, compassionate, video to promote me to sign up for their cause. To my surprise I was caught off guard. The video started with a several people saying F***, over and over again, and my eyes were wide and confused and thinking David Crowder what are you thinking! LOL Then After several people ended their words, with beeping, they began saying one word... FAMINE, FAMINE, FAMINE, FAMINE....... as they started talking I was posed with a question of my own. Why was this word F***. So Offensive to me? The emotions it provoked made my heart race, it made me want to do something to stop it from happening, it made me want to act and to tell them to stop. Then the thought occurred. What has become offensive to me, in one word has created more emotion to me than something that followed it. FAMINE. Something so much worse. Something that is man made, something that takes life, something that can be stopped, something we can be offended by, yet so often we choose to be offended by the wrong thing. We fight to stop things that hurt nothing, but choose to ignore the things that flood countries and wipe out thousands. If we took the harshness we feel about these little things with the same intensity to the realness of what we can do something about, what could we do? Could we start changing our sights on the minimal words that might not be so offensive after all in comparison to the word that follows. I agree with the ONE campaign, FAMINE is a much more offensive word.


Click Here to See ONE video.

Brotherly Love.

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Romans 12:9-10

I was thinking back about 8 months ago when Tadios stepped into our home speaking no English. And for Zadyn meeting his new brother for the first time was quite terrifying. If you think about it, they had no way to communicate. But on specific day they both were forced into brother-hood.

I think about what these photos say about these boys today. And tears stream down my face at the hurdles they have overcome. Two boys not related by blood, culture, having no similarities except one, they are practically the same age. Which could have for them spelled disaster in every form.  When I see these photos I guess what is so intoxicating about them is the pure genuine love they have for each other. That what started out terrifying for them both, has been a journey like no other, they have found their best friends, they have become brothers. They have over come sharing a room together, being the youngest together, they have learned how to teach each other who they are without a language. A knot starts to form in my throat just thinking about the love that has developed between these brothers. Something so fantastic, so complex but yet so simple. I admire the love they have for each other, it is remarkable that 8 months later they see not the differences in each other as a division to a friendship but an opening to new kind of love. That of a brother. 

Transition: A Baby on the way!

Today I was driving with Tadios and he noticed a tree that had already turned for fall. He shouted, “Mom, look that tree it’s a rainbow!” Then it came to me that for Tad this is not normal, trees stay green all year they don’t turn colors, he has never experience this new season called Fall! 

There have been many new seasons in our life lately! More than most families could handle I would say! LOL Tad has been apart of our family now 7 months and we all would agree we don’t remember life without him. It’s as if he has always been here. We moved about a month ago downtown and absolutely love our new community and home. It has been a transition but a wonderful one! Zadyn started Kindergarten, and Tad started preschool. I thought I wasn’t going to be super emotional but when my shy Ethiopian boy walked into his preschool room, and greeted everyone with a huge smile and said, “ HI! I am Tad, what is your name?” And ran to give his teacher a hug, I burst into tears! My little boy had transitioned beautifully.  So many changes some fast some slow. Just like the leaves we forget to see the gradual transition of things in our life. Sometimes they just happen because we forget to see things with eyes like Tad new ones. We miss out on the excitement of the slow transition of the colors changing and merging us into this new season called Fall! 

This week we received an answer to prayer that has been 6 years in the making. One that has taken many years to see change and now we are finally seeing the colors of this coming into our lives! We as a family yet again enter on another journey to Ethiopia together! This time to finally meet this little sister that Awan since she was 2 years old has been praying for. I remember her so small praying her sweet words, “ Be with my sister.” Awan. You don’t have a sister. “Yes, my sister in Africa.” She prayed these words for 4 more years until we as a family made the decision to adopt two children from Africa. Tad just happen to come to us first! But Tuesday this prayer was answered. We got to see for the first time Awan’s sister in Africa. She is a beautiful wide-eyed 4 month old little girl. Words can say how excited we are! We have decided to call her Samiah. I love one of the photos her eyes are as wide as they can be she is in complete awe of the camera flash! lol We bursted out laughing at her the poor thing, being humiliated at age 4 months!  Zadyn thinks it's her response to having him as a brother! We laughed and laughed! 

We now wait! We don’t expect a court date till after the first of the year but we don’t know for sure. We will travel to Ethiopia the first trip to meet her and go to court, and visit we hope her area and Tad’s area out of the city which we have yet to do.  Once we have approval at court and she is legally ours. I can't post photos until then. So no photos! Sorry! Then we wait for an Embassy Appointment, that could be 4 months or as we have known others who have waited much longer. So I guess all in all she will get here when she is good and ready! LOL We in the mean time will continue to poor out love for our other three kids and anticipate the changes that will redefine us as a family tree once again! 

Moving On. Finally.

It was three and a half years ago that one Sunday Jeremy and I took a drive down some downtown streets and it ended us up on 5th street. We noticed a man and a boy about 7 moving furniture out by themselves. We couldn't help but pull over and see if they needed some help. Jeremy jumped out to see what he could do. I noticed that Jeremy wasn't picking up anything. About 30 min later not moving anything for this man he got back in the car. I was confused. Why didn't you help him? Jeremy said, quietly... I think I did. I listened.

Come to find out, he had been paying payments to a lady for his home and well, she didn't. She lost the home and took his money.

 To be honest with you, growing up most of my life on the farm and in our newer housing addition, I was embarrassed that I had first of all never been down half the streets in my own town, but also had ignored the heart ache that was happening just miles in my own town. You see Jeremy I we were on the only path we knew. The American Dream. We had a home in a great housing addition,  were working hard for us. This moment was redefining for me. I remember sitting in the car thinking. Oh no, what if God calls me to move downtown?

What happened next was an extreme passion to help people like this man. To listen, bring them hope and help bring a renewed spirit to the hopeless. We began building relationships downtown, little by little, and soon enough we even found ourselves switching to a Church downtown. Our whole lives in a short time had been not so focused on the dream we had once thought was the only option for us, but found that bringing hope was a better dream for us.

Three years ago we decided to sell our house. We placed the sign in the yard, and to my immature faith I assumed that overnight the offers would roll in and our new dream to move downtown would be just minutes away. Isn't that always the stories you hear? I was called and before we could put that sign in the yard we had an offer! Year one, year two, and this spring.. year three past. No offers. Not even one.

The battle raged inside me. Why at first did I not want to move there and now it is my hearts desire? We had placed our whole calling on one thing. Our house selling. Just when I would give up someone would call to see the house. Jeremy and I still felt like God was asking us to move. And we wanted to be listen. But how if this house would not sell?


I started reading a book that challenged logical decision vs emotional decision according to what God asks you to do. Point in case. David and Goliath. Not logical, emotional.  I began to see that maybe God wanted us to just move. Today in the economy logical advice would be NEVER do two mortgages. There was a voice in our hearts that said we should. We should GO.

We took a step of faith and made an offer on a beautiful home, on yes, you guessed it. Beloved 5th street. A street I have had the opportunity to pray daily for, over the past 3 years. It has become my hearts desire, and this home is more than anything I could have ever imagined for Jeremy and I to raise our family in. I am amazed at this journey. It has been so painful at times. Wondering if God had been mistaken, was that call for us? Where we to move there?

The day after we received an accepted offer on our new home. We leased our current home for 3 years. It's almost comical to me how one step of faith leads to an open window. The whole time  I was looking for this wide open door of our house selling. It never happened.  But what did happen was greater. I have learned that it takes a mixture of dependence on God and a confidence in his calling big enough just go where he asks even if it requires waiting. I am so glad we did.

We will finally be closing on our new house this Friday. And this long journey of moving downtown will be behind us. But a new journey begins. Our life on 5th street is about to open up new doors, and new windows and we are so excited to see where they will lead us!