So often our measure of God's influence or power in our life is by what is happening to us. When things are working out or if a miracle occurs we know it and label it a "God thing." When we think of miracles in our western mind sets we assume it means short, relief, comfort, moving on to new things. We think of miracles as taking a desolate situation and turning it into a fantastic one over night.
When we first decided to adopt we decided not take out loans for the adoption but decided to do it the slow way and pay stuff off little by little. There was a piece of me that was just waiting for the thunder bolt miracle to happen. A huge check in the mail with my name on it! Or maybe just maybe we will put our house up for sale and it will sell the next week, because God is on our side right? So it will just sell, even in this crappy market! He is for me, so it will move, it will be a miracle for every one to see! I must proclaim that he has done a miracle in my life without selling our house super fast and giving me a lighting bolt miracle to fund our adoption.
We become arrogant with God when we assume he works in quick and spontaneous ways and that is the only way he works. We become ignorant to the real miracle that he wants us to have and accept.
I remember so many days in the last 4 years, that I would run to my bed, hide myself in the comfort of my covers and cry in the arms of my Lord. Hurt, broken, and terribly confused by his plan. Why did he ask us to move, yet 2 years and 6 months later, we have yet to sell the house? Why did my health fail, and we have to struggle as a family just to keep things going, while I went in and out of the hospital, and made our family life out of doctors visits? Why was it taking so long to pay off debt? Why had all the other houses in the area sold but ours?
I would lay in bed in agony praying for a minute miracle. That the phone would ring, and it would be our Realtor, giving us the big congrats. But it didn't happen. I would hope beyond all measure that God would just fix it all and leave me alone.
The last 4 years has by far been marked by suffering. But in the suffering I have found the biggest miracle of all. The closeness of Christ in the suffering. He was always there. Every time I would run to my bed and collapse, he was there. Even when I was angry and mad and hated him at times, he was there.
So often we hear the stories of instant miracles, but that is not the story or experience God gave me. The real miracle of this whole journey has been one of trust and dependence. The miracle is not that we will be leaving in two weeks to see our little Tad. The miracle is that God has stayed beside me for the last 4 years pushing me and teaching me to trust him with it. About 4 years ago I struggled with extreme fear. Fear of going places, doing things. Now in two weeks, I will step onto an airplane and fly clear across the world. That is a miracle. Not something that just happened but was through the power of the Holy Spirit transforming this fearful person so that I can move beyond my fears to be with him and where he wants to take me.
Even though my health comes and goes, and my body sometimes is my worst enemy, I have learned not to trust my physical self. It can do very little for me. But the Spirit working in me and the presence of God in my life is what moves me from place to place and that my health and physicality may be one of my greatest weaknesses but the real miracle is that God is stronger than I am.
The miracle we have been given, is not early court dates, and an interested buyer in our house. The real miracle that I have been given is God's presence. Not in the good times, but trusting and knowing he is there even in the muck, even when I want to reject everything he is doing in my life. Knowing he still walks hand in hand with me, through 4 years of suffering, he has given me a trust in him that is beyond any short term miracle could ever give me.
A friend texted me this verse this week. Psalm 20. It didn't surprise me to much. Because for the last 4 years he has prompted friends, and family to send me this confirmation, so thatI know he understands my heart, and the reminder that he is the miracle in my life. Not any circumstance or situation. It is by His presence alone, we have been blessed with a miracle of his Grace and Love.
I want so much to encourage everyone, suffering. That though it sucks, and though the pain feels so unbearable, the day to day dependence on his Love and understanding is the real miracle you will ever receive. Yes you might get an early court date, or your house might sell super fast. But the real gift is going through the long days with no minute miracles, but seeing the faithfulness of His presence through the crap!
Psalm 20:4- " May he grant you your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans! May we shout for joy over your salvation and in the name of our God set up our banners! May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!
Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he will answer him from his holy heaven with saving might of his right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They collapse and fall but we rise and stand up right!
Proclaiming this for all of you today! I hope you can all be blessed with the miracle of His presence, even when things are not working out. He has foreseen our court date even before we ever decided to adopt. He understood the path he was taking me on. He knew it was more powerful for me to see his love and his presence through suffering, and agony than a one minute miracle that left me guessing what I had saw. I have an unbelievable amount of trust in him and him alone. There is no way I can take this trip to Africa in two weeks, or do any of the things he is asking me to do, and now I know that's is exactly where he wants me. Not trusting in what I can get done or do, but handing it to him and being confident that we don't trust in the momentary securities, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
We will be leaving November 5th, two weeks today to meet Tad. This story is far from over, it is only the beginning of a new journey with Christ where he can teach me more about who he is and the adoption I have as him as my Abba Father.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
We have court dates!
Court Date Day! Praising God for our court dates!This morning I gave in and started an email to our case worker for our adoption agency. I woke up full of questions for her. We hadn't heard any finalization that our paperwork had been submitted to court. As far as we knew they were still translating it. So the anxiety killed me this morning and I broke down and send her an email just asking where we were at.
I also have felt overwhelmed for Tad. I wanted to know does he know he has a family coming? Does he understand what is ahead of him? How will we communicate with him when he speaks a rare language? What size of clothes does he where? How big are his feet? All things as a Mom I feel I should know about my little boy! The distance makes my heart yearn for court dates. Not that I am wishing my time away, but it is a home sickness for your child that is so far away. Well I quickly got an email back from the agency, and it said, I need to talk with you both, can I call you now.
My heart sorta stopped in fear that oh, no maybe something fell through. As I answered the phone, her excitement hit me by surprise as she said, " Congratulations!" I was thinking what? And she said I have COURT DATES, for you guys!! Holy Cow! I didn't know the paperwork was even submitted yet, and they told us it could take months to get a court date.
She told us our 1st Court Date is November 11th. This is where the Ministry of Women Affairs will submit information concerning our adoption to court and the judge will interview the responsible parties for relinquishing Tad for adoption. Once we pass this court date we can then book our flight!
Our 2nd Court Date is December 13th!!! We should leave on Jeremy's birthday or near then around the 7-8th to fly to Ethiopia to prepare for court and meet our little Tad for the first time!
She also answered questions to most of my concerns. Yes, Tad knows we are coming, and he has a family. They are working with him so he understands the concept of adoption and knows he will be moving away. They have been exposing him to English tapes and books so he can start to hear and learn English! This is HUGE! They also said he has picked up some of the Amharic language which is easier for us to start to pick up some short phrases because Tad's native language is very remote, and hard to find resources to translate it. This is a huge relief to know he is being prepared. We got new photos of him last week, he is so HAPPY! I told my mom it looks like they are saying, "Tad, smile for your family!" And there is a glow in his eyes that makes me know he is a Happy Boy. His soul has been protected by God's angels from all that he has faced in his short 4 years of life. We even got a birthday for him last week too! April 30th! He will turn 5. He is a slight bit older than they first told us, but he is still ours! <3
I am flooded with emotions! Giddy, and excited! Amazed at God's orchestration of small details and planning things out in his way and in his time. Ready to jump on a plane and squeeze my little Tad, and see his huge smile in person!
God answered a huge prayer last week, with a medical exam that confirmed that Tad's liver is NORMAL! On our paperwork/ referral there was concern he could be in liver failure. But the liver was normal and just fine last week! So glad to know that my little boy is ok!
It's hard to be a world away from your son. I can't explain the feeling of it. Though I have never met him and and have only seen his face, I have a love in my heart for him that has grown over the last 4 years of waiting for this time. With a regular pregnancy you feel it at conception, you know you have something growing in your womb. I guess adoption is like that, only this conception grows in your heart. The Holy Spirit has allowed me to be connected to Tad even though I am a whole world away. That is powerful.
Thanks for your prayers and support. Here are some ways you can pray with us!
1.) November 11 court date is HUGE~ Pray that everything is in order and that the Judge allows us to proceed to travel!
2.) Sanity- We have to research flights, get visas, vaccines, and prepare our hearts for this life changing event.
3.) Though God always provides, we do have to finance two trips to Africa between now and January. GOINK. LOL
4.) Tad. That this experience will be one he remembers as a new beginning, and that it is not so traumatic for him.
Thanks again! Love you all.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
My Walk with a King.
Today I took the hand of my little King and we took a special trip. We took an exploration of the park. He was the King, and could take me anywhere he wanted me to go. We walked around the pond and stopped to say "Hi" to the butterfly that was sitting on the nose of a giraffe on the teeter totter. We took an adventure through the dried up river valley, and my little King was so kind to help me up and down the treacherous inclines.We threw pebbles in the pond near the minnows. King Zadyn took us under the shade tree to hide from the sun.
My little King would walk some of the time hand in hand with me and other times, rambling on about 10 feet in front of me like I was still standing by him. I stood behind and just watched him. He was so in charge, yet he had no place or destination in mind. He was merely enjoying his journey as a King, with only one thing in mind. His mom. Me.
It got me thinking about my walk with my King. How so often we assume he has some profound destination for us that we are "headed" somewhere. But the reality of it is, he is no different than my little King today. He wants nothing more than us to just walk with him, be with him, experience life with him. There doesn't have to be an ending point that he is taking us too. I spent an hour walking in circles with Zadyn, my little King for a day. He taught me that it didn't matter that we ended up where we started but it was the presence of me that matter to him most. How simple it is that God our King, only asks us to walk with him. And to enjoy where he is taking us next experiencing it with him. And watching him interact in our lives while we are there holding his hand. And even when we feel like his hand is out of reach, he is ahead of us talking to us, as if we never let go.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Conquering Obstacles.
With all the excitement of the news of this little man who is entering our life, I was so excited to go Worship Sunday! I had so much excitement about praising God for his miracles this week in our family. I woke up Sunday morning feeling burdened. Down. "What" Down? After everything God has orchestrated for you Amy you are down? I had spent the morning looking over Tad's medical reports. There were words jumping off the pages that started to build fear upon fear up inside me. I told Jeremy, Satan is trying to rob my joy this morning! We sat and prayed that I could be released from this feeling of worry and fear for my little boy. As we entered church it was so full, and I could feel the Holy Spirit even as I approached the doors, hearing the excitement of worship in everyone's heart. As we took our places in the pew, I still had this overwhelming presence of fear in my mind. We started to sing.. "Our God is greater, Our God is stronger......" and the tears just started flowing down my face... I was standing in a moment where God's love did feel like a hurricane. Katara spoke about how our life follows our words. She used Caleb and Joshua as an example of God promising them something, and their faith that remained strong, and their confidence in God remained unmovable even though what was laying before them was huge! She compared it to the other Israelites who had lost faith in the promise of what God said to them, and began speaking words of defeat instead of words of victory. How powerful our words are! I realized that I was reacting more like the Isrealites. Out of fear instead of faith. That even if we have huge health obstacles that may stand in our way, God has promised Tad to us, and we need to stand confident that he will over come our obstacles. A friend posted on my facebook last week, "Your Prayers are in my thoughts. God will give you the strength you need to conquer your obstacles." Thanks Mindy! You are so right. He is our strength that we need to conquer the things that create fear in us. He allows our faith to conquer our fears.
Pastor Ryan, gave me the opportunity to share our story Sunday. It was important for me to publicly celebrate his power in my life. Also a reminder to everyone still hurting and still waiting on God that his answers often don't come in a particular outcome, but his true blessing is the presence of him in our life as we are going through the obstacles. That is the real journey, not the outcome of an answered prayer. Though there is power in his answers there is more power in his presence while you are hurting. I believe that! As I was sharing with the people at God's House, I was taken back by his people. I started quoting Psalms 30:5 and it was so comforting, I began saying, " Weeping only lasts for a night..." And they finished it. "But REJOICING COMES IN THE MORNING!"
Even as the day went on I grew anxious for our phone meeting with a doctor from Riley's International Adoption Clinic. I knew God was going to give us the strength to face whatever we need to do with Tad, but my heart felt so pulled. I feel like my heart is in Ethiopia as well as here. I have a child laying in his bed, feeling alone, and maybe even sick. I want to know how he is. Is he okay? Is he terribly sick?
I woke up this morning. And I had a vague feeling that I visited Tad last night, and heard the doctors talking about him. Saying he was happy and healthy and doing great. My anxiety seemed to calm, and then our phone rang from the doctor.
Another miracle. His medical condition is minimal!!!!!!!! She is still looking over some heart reports but isn't expecting anything serious. From what they can see on his paper work! He is as healthy as a child from a third world country could be. Praising God for that comfort! I feel God's peace and his strength this morning. His confirmation about this little boy has been overwhelming. We filled out the referral papers today accepting Tad into our family!
Continue to pray that Tad remains healthy! And that his paper work goes through without any problems and that he remains adoption ready. We hope to travel this December if all goes well.
Praising God for his presence through the hard times. His presence in the waiting. And his power in the miracles. He is Greater. He is Stronger. He is a Healing, Restoring God. I am humbled by his love and grace.
Pastor Ryan, gave me the opportunity to share our story Sunday. It was important for me to publicly celebrate his power in my life. Also a reminder to everyone still hurting and still waiting on God that his answers often don't come in a particular outcome, but his true blessing is the presence of him in our life as we are going through the obstacles. That is the real journey, not the outcome of an answered prayer. Though there is power in his answers there is more power in his presence while you are hurting. I believe that! As I was sharing with the people at God's House, I was taken back by his people. I started quoting Psalms 30:5 and it was so comforting, I began saying, " Weeping only lasts for a night..." And they finished it. "But REJOICING COMES IN THE MORNING!"
Even as the day went on I grew anxious for our phone meeting with a doctor from Riley's International Adoption Clinic. I knew God was going to give us the strength to face whatever we need to do with Tad, but my heart felt so pulled. I feel like my heart is in Ethiopia as well as here. I have a child laying in his bed, feeling alone, and maybe even sick. I want to know how he is. Is he okay? Is he terribly sick?
I woke up this morning. And I had a vague feeling that I visited Tad last night, and heard the doctors talking about him. Saying he was happy and healthy and doing great. My anxiety seemed to calm, and then our phone rang from the doctor.
Another miracle. His medical condition is minimal!!!!!!!! She is still looking over some heart reports but isn't expecting anything serious. From what they can see on his paper work! He is as healthy as a child from a third world country could be. Praising God for that comfort! I feel God's peace and his strength this morning. His confirmation about this little boy has been overwhelming. We filled out the referral papers today accepting Tad into our family!
Continue to pray that Tad remains healthy! And that his paper work goes through without any problems and that he remains adoption ready. We hope to travel this December if all goes well.
Praising God for his presence through the hard times. His presence in the waiting. And his power in the miracles. He is Greater. He is Stronger. He is a Healing, Restoring God. I am humbled by his love and grace.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Our Adoption Miracle.
This week has been a flood of emotions. If you read my last post you saw that our referral for our adoption had been prolonged to at the earliest May. My heart was heavy all day on Wednesday. It was so encouraging getting messages from all of you knowing there was a body of Christ there praying and supporting us.
I went to bed and there was little sleep in me. I cried and cried. In tears and in prayers. I was lost and discouraged. Jeremy and I felt like for the past 4 years we have been praying the same prayer and there felt like there was no answer. I think Wednesday night I felt the most desperation that I have ever felt. Jeremy and I tossed up and down the idea of broadening our age specifications to see if that would speed things up more. But we honestly felt like we couldn't. We trusted God's voice in that decision. Jeremy had sent an email to our agency just asking more questions about the time delay to get a clearer picture to why and when?!
I woke up the next morning after very little sleep. The hangover of emotions was wore on my puffy red face. Swollen from my sobbing. I stumbled out of bed and went about my morning. Got Awan to school, and then on our way home Jeremy's phone rang.
I could tell it was Emily from our agency. I zoned out the window waiting for the confirmation that yes, we were in fact up for another year of waiting. I heard Jeremy say, "Let me talk it over with Amy...." My zone turned into an curious glare. What! He said. " She called, because they have a little boy. He is 3. They are looking to place him in a family soon. She said she usually would mass email out to see what family was interested but when she came to work all she could think about was our family after reading Jeremy's email from the previous day. She talked to her director, and agreed that this little boy should only be offered to us as a referral. Our concern was that we had requested for two children. So we called her back and told her our concern. She said we have already approved that you can adopt this little boy, spend 6 months with him and then once he is adjusted your name will be about ready to be referred for a little girl. We will allow you to come back and get her after the 6 months.
This was huge. One of my fears had been bringing home two children and bonding with them and balancing our other two. So we said we would like to have all of his information.
I was so excited I called my parents. My dad answered. He said you sound like you had a rough night. I said I did! So he began to tell me that he had a dream. They were at a party, and my Mom said come see what is in the hallway!! And when my dad looked there was a 3-4 year old boy from Africa, and my Mom said, " He's yours." My Dad told me in tears,God has this little boy for you Amy, I just know it. I was crying too, and said. " He does and he is 3! We had no name and no information yet. So later that day I got an email that had his African name. As soon as I saw it I knew yes, that is his name!!! We had no names for a boy chosen. His African name is well African so pronunciation is a challenge. But the first three letters popped out of the screen. TAD. That is it that is his name!! Tad! I called my Mom and told her and she was so excited! She went home and my Dad said I know in my dream the boys name was a three letter word. I cant seem to think of it. I know it was three letters but unusual. My mom said they are going to name him "Tad". My mom said my dad turned white as a ghost and began to cry, yes... That was his name. Tad.
The last day has been a whirl wind of emotions for us. But after taking one look at his photos, where he wore a beautiful pink fur coat with matching pink shirt, shorts, and girl sandals his huge smile and mischief grin, we all fell in love. We have gone from wheeping at night to rejoicing in the morning. The morning we got our referral, my mom read this: " Weeping lasts for a night but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5
That has been our miracle. That God hears and works even though it may take years for it to evolve his plan is sovereign. He had a miracle for us. And we are so glad we have a new son, Tad. We hope to travel this winter for our first court hearing, and then sometime in the new year, bring him home. As we wait for God to design and plan the adoption story of our little girl whom we know we will soon to love just as much as Tad.
Thanks for your prayers, and continued support. We will have to make 4 trips to Ethiopia in the next year. So please pray for us as we financially figure out how to make that happen! And pray that things go smooth with his paperwork and that this doesn't fall through. He will not be "Ours" until we appear in Ethiopia in court. So please pray he remains adoption ready and that we can bring him home soon!
I love that God loves to surprise the socks off us just to see our reaction. He is amazing. And my heart is praying for all of those still in waiting. Still in desperation and feeling the pain of a prayer request that hasn't been answered. Be ready. He can change your weeping to rejoicing.
(We can't post photos until we pass court, and he become our son legally.) *
I went to bed and there was little sleep in me. I cried and cried. In tears and in prayers. I was lost and discouraged. Jeremy and I felt like for the past 4 years we have been praying the same prayer and there felt like there was no answer. I think Wednesday night I felt the most desperation that I have ever felt. Jeremy and I tossed up and down the idea of broadening our age specifications to see if that would speed things up more. But we honestly felt like we couldn't. We trusted God's voice in that decision. Jeremy had sent an email to our agency just asking more questions about the time delay to get a clearer picture to why and when?!
I woke up the next morning after very little sleep. The hangover of emotions was wore on my puffy red face. Swollen from my sobbing. I stumbled out of bed and went about my morning. Got Awan to school, and then on our way home Jeremy's phone rang.
I could tell it was Emily from our agency. I zoned out the window waiting for the confirmation that yes, we were in fact up for another year of waiting. I heard Jeremy say, "Let me talk it over with Amy...." My zone turned into an curious glare. What! He said. " She called, because they have a little boy. He is 3. They are looking to place him in a family soon. She said she usually would mass email out to see what family was interested but when she came to work all she could think about was our family after reading Jeremy's email from the previous day. She talked to her director, and agreed that this little boy should only be offered to us as a referral. Our concern was that we had requested for two children. So we called her back and told her our concern. She said we have already approved that you can adopt this little boy, spend 6 months with him and then once he is adjusted your name will be about ready to be referred for a little girl. We will allow you to come back and get her after the 6 months.
This was huge. One of my fears had been bringing home two children and bonding with them and balancing our other two. So we said we would like to have all of his information.
I was so excited I called my parents. My dad answered. He said you sound like you had a rough night. I said I did! So he began to tell me that he had a dream. They were at a party, and my Mom said come see what is in the hallway!! And when my dad looked there was a 3-4 year old boy from Africa, and my Mom said, " He's yours." My Dad told me in tears,God has this little boy for you Amy, I just know it. I was crying too, and said. " He does and he is 3! We had no name and no information yet. So later that day I got an email that had his African name. As soon as I saw it I knew yes, that is his name!!! We had no names for a boy chosen. His African name is well African so pronunciation is a challenge. But the first three letters popped out of the screen. TAD. That is it that is his name!! Tad! I called my Mom and told her and she was so excited! She went home and my Dad said I know in my dream the boys name was a three letter word. I cant seem to think of it. I know it was three letters but unusual. My mom said they are going to name him "Tad". My mom said my dad turned white as a ghost and began to cry, yes... That was his name. Tad.
The last day has been a whirl wind of emotions for us. But after taking one look at his photos, where he wore a beautiful pink fur coat with matching pink shirt, shorts, and girl sandals his huge smile and mischief grin, we all fell in love. We have gone from wheeping at night to rejoicing in the morning. The morning we got our referral, my mom read this: " Weeping lasts for a night but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5
That has been our miracle. That God hears and works even though it may take years for it to evolve his plan is sovereign. He had a miracle for us. And we are so glad we have a new son, Tad. We hope to travel this winter for our first court hearing, and then sometime in the new year, bring him home. As we wait for God to design and plan the adoption story of our little girl whom we know we will soon to love just as much as Tad.
Thanks for your prayers, and continued support. We will have to make 4 trips to Ethiopia in the next year. So please pray for us as we financially figure out how to make that happen! And pray that things go smooth with his paperwork and that this doesn't fall through. He will not be "Ours" until we appear in Ethiopia in court. So please pray he remains adoption ready and that we can bring him home soon!
I love that God loves to surprise the socks off us just to see our reaction. He is amazing. And my heart is praying for all of those still in waiting. Still in desperation and feeling the pain of a prayer request that hasn't been answered. Be ready. He can change your weeping to rejoicing.
(We can't post photos until we pass court, and he become our son legally.) *
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Asking for Prayer.
So of you may have already figured out that our adoption process is moving very slow. It will be about 4 years since we first made the decision to adopt. And we finally applied on Christmas of 2009. We have been on the referral list for 4 months now. We were told to expect it to be about 8-9 month wait. So we thought we had at least made it to half way! But yesterday we were told that the referrals for our specific request are now taking closer to 12 months. Another year.
Waiting gets really old. I have understood so much during this long time of waiting, but it still feels defeating. It's like thinking you are 4 months pregnant and then finding out you are really only about 4 weeks along. I trust him with my disappointments, but there is a strong part of me that just wants to figure out how to control it and fix it.
Pastor Ryan talked last Sunday about, " Surrender." I guess I am putting that into use this week. There is nothing I can do, but trust that his plan has our best interests in mind. Our small group is reading through the Bible and we read Zechariah last week, and in 4:6 it says, " Not by might, nor by power, but by the Spirit, says the Lord of hosts." It is only through his Spirit that I can place my trust.
Another on going burden has been us selling our house. We were also called to sell our house to move to the intercity of Marion. That was 2 years and 4 months ago, and little to no movement has happened.
I guess in this post today I am asking for help. In Luke 11:9 it says: "And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." For so long I have read this verse as, Ask God and he will be there to help listen and answer your prayers according to his will. But the other day, a light came on that Jeremy and I are very independent people. We see a challenge and we conquer it usually on our own. We very seldom ask others for help. But after reading this verse it clicked with me that God might be saying to me. Ask my people. So I am. Jeremy and I need prayer. We need to know we have people cheering us on while we wait for the two children he has planned to join our family, and prayer that somehow our house would sell and allow us to follow his call to the intercity.
I know that there is nothing I can do, but to surrender it all to him, but also humble myself that we as a family can't do it on our own, we need his body praying and lifting us up as we enter yet another year of waiting in his presence for the things he has promised us.
Thank you for your love and support! We are humbled by this journey and know we need your prayers.
Waiting gets really old. I have understood so much during this long time of waiting, but it still feels defeating. It's like thinking you are 4 months pregnant and then finding out you are really only about 4 weeks along. I trust him with my disappointments, but there is a strong part of me that just wants to figure out how to control it and fix it.
Pastor Ryan talked last Sunday about, " Surrender." I guess I am putting that into use this week. There is nothing I can do, but trust that his plan has our best interests in mind. Our small group is reading through the Bible and we read Zechariah last week, and in 4:6 it says, " Not by might, nor by power, but by the Spirit, says the Lord of hosts." It is only through his Spirit that I can place my trust.
Another on going burden has been us selling our house. We were also called to sell our house to move to the intercity of Marion. That was 2 years and 4 months ago, and little to no movement has happened.
I guess in this post today I am asking for help. In Luke 11:9 it says: "And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." For so long I have read this verse as, Ask God and he will be there to help listen and answer your prayers according to his will. But the other day, a light came on that Jeremy and I are very independent people. We see a challenge and we conquer it usually on our own. We very seldom ask others for help. But after reading this verse it clicked with me that God might be saying to me. Ask my people. So I am. Jeremy and I need prayer. We need to know we have people cheering us on while we wait for the two children he has planned to join our family, and prayer that somehow our house would sell and allow us to follow his call to the intercity.
I know that there is nothing I can do, but to surrender it all to him, but also humble myself that we as a family can't do it on our own, we need his body praying and lifting us up as we enter yet another year of waiting in his presence for the things he has promised us.
Thank you for your love and support! We are humbled by this journey and know we need your prayers.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Despicable Us.- The other side to the Muslim Mosque
I took my kids today to see the movie Despicable Me. It was rather enjoyable. Of course Zadyn thought all references to butts, toilets and pooting was absolutely hilarious! And Awan loved the sweet charm of the three girls that steal Dr. Gru's heart. Ours too. But the story is a great story. That before we claim someone a villain, we recognize, a spirit of humanity that is good in all people. If we let go of our fear of others that are different we might just discover that we can love the very people we may have been terrified of.
As of late, I have been dumb founded with God's Grace. I was frantically telling Jeremy yesterday in the car. GRACE= EVERYTHING. I think I haven't truly been able to accept that his Grace can cover the Dr. Gru in me. That his grace covers the worry some, fearful, shop o holic, burdened by what others think of me syndrome parts of me. Grace covers my shortfalls. His love is a wealth in the midst of the poverty that I feel. GRACE= FREEDOM.
Today in America, we are so prideful of our freedom. We do live in a country that allows us to be free, or so we think at least.... But honestly. We are the "free"est people in the world but are we really free? If you turn on CNN, or FOX NEWS, we find that well, we aren't really that free are we? We are bound by FEAR. Fear of terrorism, fear of Democrats taking over the world :) The Antichrists right? LOL The basis of the News is built not on our freedom but built on what is bonding and fearful. We as Americans don't act out of Freedom. We act out of Fear.
Just so we are all on the same page: Fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats which are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.[ Fear could also be an instant reaction to something presently happening.
Where there is Fear, we have no freedom. Here is very shocking reality for most of us. Our American citizenship has and never will make us really FREE. It is only by God's undiscriminating love for us, that we can be free, free in his Grace. Outside of that there is no freedom.
So here is the big question of the week for me. If we as a collective group of people following Jesus Christ, claiming we are in fact his Christ-Follower, do we react out of fear vs freedom in him? If we claim what he claims then how can we react to every issue in a fist up lets fight for "what's ours" kind of way?
I know I won't make many friends, in this blog, but here is my heart cry. If God's love and his ability to accept us all, is so vast then why do his people come across so protective, fearful and even violent.
Here is the other side to the Muslim Mosque. New York followers, of Christ, have the opportunity of a lifetime, in this... They have been given the chance to be apart of a community of Muslims here in our FREE country where we can share with them the amazing GRACE of God, that we serve a God who doesn't care about the Dr. Gru in us without being killed for it. Just this week I heard that three missionaries lost their lives in Afghanistan, feeding the mouths of the hungry. And we shout and fight and show no love to a community that we can love and share our Good News with in freedom, Despicable Us. I am so glad that we do serve a God of Grace because his people need it. We have sinned against the Muslim people. We say we are opposing the mosque, and it's location, but I tend to believe that we all know that is a lie. We are opposing Muslims in a discriminating, hateful, revengeful, unforgiving way that Christ would not be proud of. But even in the mess of our own selfish, fearfulness, with throwing our fists in protest, God's Grace covers us. Praise God for that.
Matthew 5:43-48n (TNIV)
You have heard that it was said. "Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, LOVE your enemies and PRAY for those who persecute you., that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you , what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore as your heavenly Father is perfect.
As of late, I have been dumb founded with God's Grace. I was frantically telling Jeremy yesterday in the car. GRACE= EVERYTHING. I think I haven't truly been able to accept that his Grace can cover the Dr. Gru in me. That his grace covers the worry some, fearful, shop o holic, burdened by what others think of me syndrome parts of me. Grace covers my shortfalls. His love is a wealth in the midst of the poverty that I feel. GRACE= FREEDOM.
Today in America, we are so prideful of our freedom. We do live in a country that allows us to be free, or so we think at least.... But honestly. We are the "free"est people in the world but are we really free? If you turn on CNN, or FOX NEWS, we find that well, we aren't really that free are we? We are bound by FEAR. Fear of terrorism, fear of Democrats taking over the world :) The Antichrists right? LOL The basis of the News is built not on our freedom but built on what is bonding and fearful. We as Americans don't act out of Freedom. We act out of Fear.
Just so we are all on the same page: Fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats which are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.[ Fear could also be an instant reaction to something presently happening.
Where there is Fear, we have no freedom. Here is very shocking reality for most of us. Our American citizenship has and never will make us really FREE. It is only by God's undiscriminating love for us, that we can be free, free in his Grace. Outside of that there is no freedom.
So here is the big question of the week for me. If we as a collective group of people following Jesus Christ, claiming we are in fact his Christ-Follower, do we react out of fear vs freedom in him? If we claim what he claims then how can we react to every issue in a fist up lets fight for "what's ours" kind of way?
I know I won't make many friends, in this blog, but here is my heart cry. If God's love and his ability to accept us all, is so vast then why do his people come across so protective, fearful and even violent.
Here is the other side to the Muslim Mosque. New York followers, of Christ, have the opportunity of a lifetime, in this... They have been given the chance to be apart of a community of Muslims here in our FREE country where we can share with them the amazing GRACE of God, that we serve a God who doesn't care about the Dr. Gru in us without being killed for it. Just this week I heard that three missionaries lost their lives in Afghanistan, feeding the mouths of the hungry. And we shout and fight and show no love to a community that we can love and share our Good News with in freedom, Despicable Us. I am so glad that we do serve a God of Grace because his people need it. We have sinned against the Muslim people. We say we are opposing the mosque, and it's location, but I tend to believe that we all know that is a lie. We are opposing Muslims in a discriminating, hateful, revengeful, unforgiving way that Christ would not be proud of. But even in the mess of our own selfish, fearfulness, with throwing our fists in protest, God's Grace covers us. Praise God for that.
Matthew 5:43-48n (TNIV)
You have heard that it was said. "Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, LOVE your enemies and PRAY for those who persecute you., that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you , what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore as your heavenly Father is perfect.
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