With all the excitement of the news of this little man who is entering our life, I was so excited to go Worship Sunday! I had so much excitement about praising God for his miracles this week in our family. I woke up Sunday morning feeling burdened. Down. "What" Down? After everything God has orchestrated for you Amy you are down? I had spent the morning looking over Tad's medical reports. There were words jumping off the pages that started to build fear upon fear up inside me. I told Jeremy, Satan is trying to rob my joy this morning! We sat and prayed that I could be released from this feeling of worry and fear for my little boy. As we entered church it was so full, and I could feel the Holy Spirit even as I approached the doors, hearing the excitement of worship in everyone's heart. As we took our places in the pew, I still had this overwhelming presence of fear in my mind. We started to sing.. "Our God is greater, Our God is stronger......" and the tears just started flowing down my face... I was standing in a moment where God's love did feel like a hurricane. Katara spoke about how our life follows our words. She used Caleb and Joshua as an example of God promising them something, and their faith that remained strong, and their confidence in God remained unmovable even though what was laying before them was huge! She compared it to the other Israelites who had lost faith in the promise of what God said to them, and began speaking words of defeat instead of words of victory. How powerful our words are! I realized that I was reacting more like the Isrealites. Out of fear instead of faith. That even if we have huge health obstacles that may stand in our way, God has promised Tad to us, and we need to stand confident that he will over come our obstacles. A friend posted on my facebook last week, "Your Prayers are in my thoughts. God will give you the strength you need to conquer your obstacles." Thanks Mindy! You are so right. He is our strength that we need to conquer the things that create fear in us. He allows our faith to conquer our fears.
Pastor Ryan, gave me the opportunity to share our story Sunday. It was important for me to publicly celebrate his power in my life. Also a reminder to everyone still hurting and still waiting on God that his answers often don't come in a particular outcome, but his true blessing is the presence of him in our life as we are going through the obstacles. That is the real journey, not the outcome of an answered prayer. Though there is power in his answers there is more power in his presence while you are hurting. I believe that! As I was sharing with the people at God's House, I was taken back by his people. I started quoting Psalms 30:5 and it was so comforting, I began saying, " Weeping only lasts for a night..." And they finished it. "But REJOICING COMES IN THE MORNING!"
Even as the day went on I grew anxious for our phone meeting with a doctor from Riley's International Adoption Clinic. I knew God was going to give us the strength to face whatever we need to do with Tad, but my heart felt so pulled. I feel like my heart is in Ethiopia as well as here. I have a child laying in his bed, feeling alone, and maybe even sick. I want to know how he is. Is he okay? Is he terribly sick?
I woke up this morning. And I had a vague feeling that I visited Tad last night, and heard the doctors talking about him. Saying he was happy and healthy and doing great. My anxiety seemed to calm, and then our phone rang from the doctor.
Another miracle. His medical condition is minimal!!!!!!!! She is still looking over some heart reports but isn't expecting anything serious. From what they can see on his paper work! He is as healthy as a child from a third world country could be. Praising God for that comfort! I feel God's peace and his strength this morning. His confirmation about this little boy has been overwhelming. We filled out the referral papers today accepting Tad into our family!
Continue to pray that Tad remains healthy! And that his paper work goes through without any problems and that he remains adoption ready. We hope to travel this December if all goes well.
Praising God for his presence through the hard times. His presence in the waiting. And his power in the miracles. He is Greater. He is Stronger. He is a Healing, Restoring God. I am humbled by his love and grace.
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