Abiding not Waiting.

Some simple truths this morning as I woke up. Jeremy and I have been waiting for our house to sell for about three years so we can move downtown. Something we feel God has been calling us to do for sometime. With the housing market crash it has given us sometime to think about why we are really moving there.  At first I thought this was a three year lesson on patience. As would anyone. But I am beginning to see that he is teaching me it is more about abiding. It is about remaining in him even when things don't work out like we think they should or like we think he has promised. It means abiding even when we think the idea is dead. I read the story of Lazarus and a friend of mine pointed out in John Martha. Her response. She says, I know that he will rise again I believe you are the Christ. But here is Mary, saying if you had only been here he would not have died."  Martha knew that Christ could resurrect the dead. While Mary is bitter and angry in what Jesus was late for and had not done yet.  I know in this process I too forgot that Jesus could resurrect us in our times of need if we only trust and abide in him. Or believe as Martha did.  This week I have realized that I am not "waiting" on God to sell our house any more. I am abiding with him. I believe with him he will resurrect this three year old idea and one day we will be living out his calling downtown.

The Israelites moaned and groaned about needing food, and God provided manna. God told them not to take more than a day's amount for he would supply each day for them. Was he teaching them patience? Or teaching them to abide in him. To believe he could take care of them? God today I believe you can sell this house. Today tomorrow or three years from now. What ever the case I believe and I will not wait on you but will "Abide" with you.

One last thought this morning.

I used to get flustered thinking about moving downtown to do ministry and outreach. Here we go to save a community. What!? Who did I think I was? How silly! God forgive me! At church Sunday they showed a video of the Center for Success. The thought occurred to me. Who is doing the saving? I was reading the verse in John 12:25 Whoever loves his life loses it, and who ever hates his live in this world will keep it for eternal life if any one serves me he must follow me and here I am there will my servant be also if anyone serves me the Father will honor him. "

So often in  ministry we decide it is our goal or mission to SAVE. We go set and try to conquer. But in the process we fail. Why? We burn out, and no one gets saved. I was thinking about our adoption. Why has it been different?

I never set out to Save Tad. I knew walking into this adoption that it was an equal relationship. That what I have to offer is important but that wasn't all. That I need more love from a little boy too. And that what Tad has to offer me is valuable. In fact Tad may just be doing more of the saving part in this situation.

You see God is teaching me humility about his Good News. I am first and foremost the one Always needing the saving. As I pray to move forward with going downtown, I now am praying that he uses my new neighbors and children and people that come into contact with me to SAVE ME.

In Isaiah 61

61:1 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor; [1]
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; [2]
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
3 to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. [3]
4 They shall build up the ancient ruins;
they shall raise up the former devastations;
they shall repair the ruined cities,
the devastations of many generations.


Dear God.
Allow me not to wait for things, but to abide with you. Allow me not to run out to save others, but allow others to save me. Pour your spirit upon me so I can bring good news to the poor.

Amy.